In the lead up to International Women's Day on March 8 the Port Macquarie News spoke to five local women about their passions and achievements, coping with setbacks and what they have learnt along the way. Second up we meet Cathy Stoner.
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Cathy Stoner is the happiest she has ever been.
The 53-year-old Port Macquarie mum of six describes her fifties as the best years of her life.
She didn't always feel so optimistic.
Almost two-and-a-half years ago her marriage of 30 years ended.
She describes the end of her marriage as similar to a "near death experience."
When your marriage ends mid-life you see everything you had planned for your future is not going to eventuate.
- Cathy Stoner
"That confrontation of wow this is my life and I have to make the most of it."
Ms Stoner made the decision to make the rest of her life the best it could possibly be.
"I've learnt we have one life to live and we really need to make the most of every moment of every day."
"I made a choice to be happy and I really am."
Ms Stoner said her new partner Steve also helped her heal.
"He is just a wonderful, wonderful man."
Road cycling is a sport Ms Stoner had never envisioned herself doing but after just six months training and lots of encouragement from Steve she rode the Great Victorian Bike Ride through Eastern Victoria late last year; a distance of over 600 kms.
Ms Stoner said she has gained a lot of independence through travelling solo a few times too; one of those times being to Bali.
"I never experienced what most young people do because I was a mother so young.
"I couldn't go out and do what most kids do so I am experiencing all those things now and I am loving it.
Despite her new passions, Ms Stoner describes her greatest achievement as raising six children aged 15-36.
"I have six beautiful children who love and adore me," she said.
"In the last couple of years after my marriage broke down they have just teamed around me and given me so much love and support and it has just shown me what good people they are and how blessed I really am."
Ms Stoner continues to be vocal advocate for survivors of child sexual abuse.
I am just one of millions of people who has been abused and it really does distort your thinking.
- Cathy Stoner
She continues to share her story in the hope of encouraging others to get help.
She said she hopes lasting change comes out of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.
"I was never able to trust a man because I had been hurt so badly and that was never something that I articulated in my mind.
"It was just something within.
"I started getting help when I was 45, I waited far too long."
She said the abuse affected how she mothered her children because of her anxiety stemming from the abuse.
"I was angry at times raising my children.. I couldn't handle stress and it manifested into anger, that flows into them and their lives."
Ms Stoner said while it can be difficult to recover from child sexual abuse and a marriage breakdown because there are always triggers she finds herself in a good place.
"I've learnt that I am a much stronger woman than I gave myself credit for.
"I have learnt that I am worthy, that I matter."
