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Those are the three things Lea Harvey wants you to understand about people who have a mental health issue.
The Port Macquarie resident is the co-facilitator for the successful Lifeline Mid Coast program Eclipse.
The program is for people who have attempted suicide.
The organisation is the only provider of the US-inspired program in the country.
Others are looking to follow in Lifeline's footsteps to offer the program.
Lea says her own journey through mental health doesn't mean she is "cured".
"Now that I can see things from my past, I know that I wasn't well," she said.
"But I am now in control of things; I still have bad days but I can tell the difference now.
"It has been a long journey where I was always pretending that everything was okay.
"I don't try to disguise what is happening to me now," she said.
Lea participated in the first Eclipse program after attending a forum held in Port Macquarie July 2012 by the Ministerial Advisory Committee on Suicide Prevention.
She says standing up for the first time to talk about her experiences took "every bit of courage I had".
"I had always played the chameleon, playing the role that everyone wanted me to be: to be normal, whatever normal is," she said.
"If you've survived suicide you just need people to listen to you. Not to judge you, but to listen.
If you've survived suicide you just need people to listen to you. Not to judge you, but to listen.
- Lea Harvey
"Eclipse works because we talk a lot about resilience, and hope and putting in place strategies that suit you.
"There are always dark days.
"You think that everyone would be better off without you. But Eclipse helps you work out how to negate those negative thoughts.
"It is important to remember that we are worthwhile people. We are productive people."
Lea said acceptance and education were key to not being scared of it (suicide) any more.
She described her own mental health as "like riding a roller coaster".
"I've learned now that it is okay to have a bad day and just accept it," she added.
The Eclipse program provides an eight week program with topics and the scope for broader discussions.
It encourages people to go out and seek help to avoid falling into the "deep, dark abyss".
"It is confidential and non-judgemental," she added.
Lea urged the wider community to talk more openly about suicide and for everyone to reach out if they need help.
"Even if you are not suicidal, reach out. It is not a failure. Just pick up the phone and talk with Lifeline or ring a friend," she said.
Even if you are not suicidal, reach out. It is not a failure. Just pick up the phone and talk with Lifeline or ring a friend.
- Lea Harvey
She praised the work of Living Works' Safe Talks programs, Lifeline's Eclipse and the mental health first aid program, Black Dog Institute and RUOK day.
Lea says she is still learning as part of her journey.
"I tell some of the younger people in the Eclipse program that they don't know what their journey will include," she said.
"You always get a variety of perspectives and lots of honesty from within the (Eclipse) groups.
"It has been a huge journey for me and I am still learning.
"There is hope out there," she said.
Lifeline Mid Coast are now taking applicants for the sixth cycle of Eclipse, commencing in March 19, 2019.
People interested in joining the group should phone Kelly on 6581 2800 or email suicideprevention@lifelinemidcoast.org.au
For crisis or suicide prevention support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit Lifeline's website.
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