‘No’ was not a word in Joy Stiller’s vocabulary.
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She was a tireless contributor to the Port Macquarie community for over four decades, so when she received that final call, she would have known her work was done here, but would be ready to tackle the next job.
Joyce (Joy) Rubie Stiller (nee Matthews) died peacefully on 6 November 2017 at Mingaletta Aged Care, Port Macquarie in her 100th year. She would have been a bit peeved not to have made the century. She was holding out for that telegram from the Queen.
Joy was always a bit coy about her age. I had known her for some time when I learned my friend was turning 70.
She was a good 40 years older than me but her active lifestyle and curious mind belied the age difference.
Joy was born in Manly on 28 September, 1918, the eldest daughter of George and Ruby Matthews and grew up in Parkes, in central west NSW where her father had a machinery spare parts business.
By all accounts it was a happy childhood and youth filled with the usual socialising of country life: dances and dress up, tennis parties and swimming.
“Mother” was musical and involved with the Church and CWA, and the family home sounded like a hub for the younger set of Parkes. There were three brothers, Bill (dec), George (dec) and Keith (dec) and two sisters, Barbara (dec) and Rosemary.
As war was building in Europe, Joy headed to Orange to start her nursing training. Even in her last years she liked to recall the icy walk from the Nurses’ Home to the wards in the chill of the Orange winter. But before she graduated, Australia had entered the war and on 12 November, 1942 Joy joined the Australian Women's Army Service. She served in the Sydney Coastal Artillery in signals. Much of their operations were top secret.
By 1945 she was a Lieutenant Brigadier. The instructor at one of her training courses described her under Personal characteristics: “Theory fair; good personal smartness and attitude; capable and reliable; has made a conscientious application to the work of the course; her good control of troops, could be further improved, were she to show less restraint.”
But before she had that opportunity, the war ended and Joy was discharged at the end of 1945. She was 27.
She wasn’t demobbed long before one of her brothers introduced her to a dashing RAAF sergeant from Queensland, Frank Stiller.
The couple married on 28 August 1948 and lived in Perth and Melbourne where Frank worked as port master. They had one son, Warwick. Sadly, Frank died in 1971 aged only 52 years. Not long after, Joy retired to Port Macquarie.
Joy was always on hand to put out chairs, pick up the talent from the airport, serve suppers or, declaring herself ‘not much of a cook’, whip up plates of sandwiches.
She loved to travel and went on many road trips around Australia, especially with her good friend, Barbara. She travelled to Japan on one of the original Women’s Weekly cruises and wouldn’t hesitate to hop on the train to Sydney or Canberra for a Returned Servicewomen or ANZAC related event, even in her late eighties.
It seems Joy did manage to improve her “good control of troops”. She had a life long association with the Girl Guides and was an active senior leader during her stays in Western Australia and Victoria. She maintained this passion throughout her life as a member of the Trefoil Guild in Port Macquarie, inspiring younger women.
To that life of community service could also be added the committees of the Returned Service Woman’s Association, foundation membership of the War Widow’s Guild, 20 years of service to Vision Australia’s Talking Port Macquarie News, the Anglican Synod of Newcastle, the Hastings Eisteddfod, and of course, the Hastings Arts Council.
Joy was already a long-standing member of and tireless worker for the Hastings Arts Council committee when I joined in 1987.
In those pre-internet days it was Joy who stuck our venue and dates stickers to all the generic tour posters and made sure they were distributed around town.
Joy was always on hand to put out chairs, pick up the talent from the airport, serve suppers or, declaring herself ‘not much of a cook’, whip up plates of sandwiches.
It always annoyed her that the stickers were too big to fit the poster. She would carefully trim every one to size and save the offcuts for later use. And use them she did. Having lived through the Depression and the War, Joy hated waste. She had grown up making her own clothes. She learned to make paper too and used it to create unique cards and gifts.
Even after the Hastings Arts Council was no more, she enjoyed meeting up with ex-committee members for a monthly lunch and joined in the activism that became Friends of the Glasshouse with a passion.
Knowing that, after more than 20 years of struggle, there would be a world-class arts facility in Port Macquarie, made her very proud. The last time I saw her she said, “We did some good things, didn’t we?”
She could be tough and feisty. She didn’t suffer fools but she was a great Australian, a wonderful woman and a generous and loyal friend. In the end, that’s what matters.
In 2008 we celebrated her 90th birthday at the Guide Hall in Port Macquarie and friends and family from every part of Joy’s life attended.
She was chuffed and humbled all at the same time. Sadly, not long after Joy needed to move into supported care because of the onset of Alzheimer’s disease.
Always fiercely independent and eminently capable, she insisted to the end that she would be going home soon and her car was in the garage waiting for that next trip.
Joy has gone on her last road trip. I hope there’s a cold beer waiting.
It was privilege to call her a friend and to share in the memories of a life that spanned two centuries and went from the horse and carriage to the moon landing and the Internet.
She could be tough and feisty. She didn’t suffer fools but she was a great Australian, a wonderful woman and a generous and loyal friend. In the end, that’s what matters.