She was in hospital for four  months. During that period none of the staff could tell me what was wrong with her and they wanted to transfer her into a home.

I fought bitterly with the POWH in placing her in a facility. My mother was still employed by Sydney Trains and over her 38 year service she amassed nearly 3000hrs of sick leave. 

When my mother was discharged (still with no diagnosis) we both took the voluntary redundancy from the railways and I had to make a number of life changing decisions for her. 

We have been coming up to Port Macquarie for years on holidays and with a friend of mine moving here, I thought that for mum’s safety and security that we move from Sydney. 

After finding a decent local doctor, mum was sent to a specialist who immediately diagnosed her with frontotemporal dementia. 

With specialists in Sydney, I was amazed that they did not tell me this. I figured with the move to Port that there would be a good level of support.

I am now a full time carer for mum and I’ve had to put my career and life behind me to give her all the support she needs. 

She is also hearing impaired (since birth) which does make things difficult at times. 

I am impressed with the local medical facilities and with local shopkeepers whenever go out shopping with their professionalism in understanding mum’s conditions. 

Mum still feels to be treated as independent which I give to her as much as possible. 

Dementia support is on an individual level and group stereotyping them is a step backwards in supporting them. 

While most in the community here have been excellent, there have been those who do not care nor wish to know. 

All I ask is that for those in the community to be aware of those with various medical conditions, be patient with them, helpful if needed, respect them, communicate with them and make them feel part of the community. 

Stereotyping them and neglecting them is a major step backwards. 

Mum loves it here and enjoys the lifestyle and she feels safe, but to those who have no consideration to those with dementia and other medical conditions she has no trust in them. It is sad to see a loved one go through this condition, but understanding, support and love go a long way. 

As a carer, every day is a new challenge and we learn something new.  Carers need consideration as they are giving up their lives to support those we love.

Ritchie (surname withheld)

Port Macquarie