SO you thought you were funny?
Well so do these people and now is your chance to vote for Port’s Funninest Person on Global Belly Laugh Day – which is today.
Have a read, laugh as loud as you want to and then cast your vote for the funniest joker.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there is a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
Did you hear about the accident at the furniture factory?
Yeh, a man was working on the roof, when he fell right through into the upholstery section.
But it’s all right – he’s recovered.
Say No to Nationals:
A woman come running in her front door & yells to her husband..
'quick hurry, start packing I have won $5,000,000 in the lotto"
The husband replies 'OMG thats fantastic what should I pack for warm or cold weather?"
the wife fires back ' i dont bl--dy care what ya pack just be outa the house by noon!"
How do you make a politician fall over? Put them in a round room and tell them to stand in the corner!
How do you confuse a politician? You don't have to!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What do you call an eskimo's house with no toilet? An ig
Fella went to the psychiatrist. The doctor asked "What seems to be your trouble?"
"Oh, it's not me", replied the fella, "It's my brother. He thinks he's an orange."
"Well", said the doctor, "You should have brought him with you."
"I did", replied the fella, "He's in my pocket."
Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott are sitting next to each other on a flight from Sydney to Canberra. Tony leans over to Julia and asks if she would like to play a fun game. Julia just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and turns towards the window to catch a few winks.
Tony persists and says that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, Julia politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
Tony, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!"
This catches Julia's attention. She also knows from her experiences with Tony in Parliament that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays. So Julia agrees to the game.
Tony asks the first question. "How much is the GST on a loaf of bread?" Julia doesn't say a word, reaches in to her wallet, pulls out $5 and hands it to Tony.
Now, it's Julia's turn. She asks Tony, "What hops, carries its young in its pouch and flies?"
Tony looks at Julia with a puzzled frown.
He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Commonwealth National Library. Frustrated, he sends emails to all his pals in the Liberal party and finally people in the One Nation party. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes up Julia and hands her $50. Julia politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
Tony, who is more than a little miffed, wakes Julia again and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!" Without a word, Julia Gillard reaches into her wallet, hands Tony Abbott $5, and goes back to sleep.